By Request: Volume One

by Steinomite

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Ninjas 03:58
Ninjitsu unleashed upon your shiatsu's leash because i don't like the way it's eyeball'n my quiche! sheesh, seriously, people and puppies beware there are four American ninjas somewhere… ninja's in America just don't even care we’ve got serious beefs, with credit card companies cable providers, anyone with hidden fees threaten anybody that’s up to no good by throw’n throwing stars into nearby wood! I number my ninjas so that i can keep track ninja 1, go chop that dudes sandwich in half we cook, we clean, sing perfectly in tune look out for ninjitsu in your kitchen soon! helpful, modern, like the long arm of outreach we volunteer to wreck people secretly don’t even accept payment for the pain downpour ninja 4, throw that dudes papers on the floor once paid off a butler with cutlery we found then proceeded to sautee our supper without a sound super stealthy and wealthy with skills, we kill in the kitchen, way ahead on our bills professional at puzzles, riddles and rhymes, we even make origami notes sometimes ride horses, fix cars, use words like thrice been known to time travel just to kill people twice chill a drink by staring it down, no ice! Nobody haggles better ways get the best price! Community outreach, we make our own clothes Brew our own beer, recycle and compost consistently vote, totally vegan diets we run a non-profit teaching people to be quiet totally chill, never get excited. If you need us and have a signal fire, light it or just call this number... CHORUS: We are ninja’s ninja’s ninja’s Great at folding pastries in the night We are ninja’s ninja’s ninja’s Lace a sole like crazy ‘til it’s right We are ninja’s ninja’s ninja’s The tastiest oldies lazy with a knife We are ninja’s ninja’s ninja’s Chase, Colby, Macey, and Steinomite Verse 2: That’s right, we speak in code, and we bake Pastries maybe, I guess you wouldn’t know We may make bread, or pizza, maybe might Deep fry, but could they be full of poison? Oh! celebrities think we’re a cool club and wanna join we once put Chuck Norris in a walker to prove a point when we don’t have a mission we just all parkour in the middle of the night with or without a fight subtract numbers with or without a minus they’d make us a reality show if they could find us scuba dive with no gear paralyze you with fear drive cool cars use our minds to stear Put Jean-Claud Van Damme into a ham And baked him for thanksgiving this year! Just kidding, we always kid, ask chase… BUT BELIEVE EVERYTHING WE SAY JUST IN CASE! CHORUS: We are ninja’s ninja’s ninja’s Great at folding pastries in the night We are ninja’s ninja’s ninja’s Lace a sole like crazy ‘til it’s right We are ninja’s ninja’s ninja’s (gibberish) We are ninja’s ninja’s ninja’s Chase, Colby, Macey, and Steinomite We are ninja’s ninja’s ninja’s Wait for boldy crazy night lights We are ninja’s ninja’s ninja’s Fate has told me Swayze had it right We are ninja’s ninja’s ninja’s Wasteful only lazy in the light We are ninja’s ninja’s ninja’s Chase, Colby, Macey, and Steinomite Ninjas (ad libs)
Robots 03:04
What do they want? the robots in my house i made them out of lego's the robots in my house maybe they can be ballerina's like my sister and i maybe i can teach them how to fly...a kite maybe i can teach them taekwondo, i don't know maybe they will like my favorite shows... maybe we can start a band, bang'n pots and pans cook or read a book or... we just wanna dance ROBOTS JUST WANNA DANCE AND PLAY THE SYNTHESIZER they just wanna dance the robots in my house i made them out of legos these robots in my house maybe we can releve into a plie do si do hammer time we just wanna dance ROBOTS ARE TRY'N TO GET DOWN TO GET DOWN TO GET DOWN they just wanna dance with us
Bacon 02:28
bacon kinda want some bacon bacon is delicious you can put it on things it's made from pork belly you can put it on pork belly full of umami, my mommy made it with eggs like vitamins you should eat it on the regs' put it on a burger, totally classic Vlasic pickle and cheese, but really it goes with everything and so! ever just wanted to have it on you just in case a craving comes before you meet that blond dude for fondue... YEAH! no, I mean, literally have it on you on your body... CHORUS: (sung) bacon suits are made outa bacon tasty when you're on the go no fak'n wear a hog tie if you wanna dress up right wear bacon on your body tonight that's right They're totally awesome But you can guess one must take some precautions many people really really love a bit of snout and it can be dangerous tryin' to wear your suit out now it's not your fault if you're assaulted for the curing salted bacon on your body, just beware if you're get'n a long stare by a person and they approach you maybe try a diversion (diversion improv) but the grisly-ness of your meat-suit has power I was once chased around Chicago for an hour in this case another method must be used I call it lighting a cigarette and vomiting on yourself... CHORUS bacon suits are made outa bacon no way yes way
Spinners 02:46
go to the gym spinners on my weights out to dinner put spinners on my plates out at the club put a spinner on my date american express card spinners on my interest rates ------------------ next morn'n put'n spinners on my eggs girl you look'N good with spinners on your legs spinner pants spinner hat spinner watch wallet jeans paper showerhead what you want? spinner cat spinner for dessert spinner eyeball'n me put'n a spinner on my shirt i'm so spinny. you never seen it this tight mag wheels flashy like a mag light like a star when i roll up on a basketball and roll it still rol'n with a spinner own it (on it) spinner on my doorknob spinner on my dvd spinner on my younger brother everything i see CHORUS: spinn'n my rims just spinn'n my rims look'n so tight when i spin 'em at the gym i ride clean playa look'n mean playa spin my rims fast like every daya i'm all custom straight dope style ppl be like that dude look'n wil' (wild) that dude so fresh com'n so clean i put spinners on everyTHING hm...ya'll got some unique whips i got spinners on my finger tips on my tv on my toothbrush on my landlady on that schoolbus on my pencil on my elbow i got spinners on the spinners on my pillows! spinner sandwich spinner bluetooth spinner grandfather clock from the turn of the century insert: milk tree stop sign toilet bowl phone your phone neighbor juggler spinner kleenex spinner toilet paper spinner on a biscuit on a business card on a tree on a shoe on a desk on a pen, these scissors this cable piece of paper lamp shade bar of soap microwave radio microphone picture frame total stranger spinners on spinners on spinners on...


In 2012, Steinomite released his debut album, " the Best." The fundraising campaign for that album included some pretty neat prizes, including CUSTOM STEINOMITE SONGS to the highest backers.

At long last, these songs are now completed and collected and were put into an order and mastered and thought about and will be and are and were now on this album record...


released September 7, 2015

All songs written by request, produced and performed by Steinomite, AKA Jon Steinmeier

1. Ninjas - Written for Colby, Macey, and Chase Colvin

2. Robots - Written for Grace and Gabbie Steinmeier

3. Bacon - Written for Jad Mintun

4. Spinners - Written for Eric Singley


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