By Request: Volume One

by Steinomite

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In 2012, Steinomite released his debut album, " the Best." The fundraising campaign for that album included some pretty neat prizes, including CUSTOM STEINOMITE SONGS to the highest backers.

At long last, these songs are now completed and collected and were put into an order and mastered and thought about and will be and are and were now on this album record...


released September 7, 2015

All songs written by request, produced and performed by Steinomite, AKA Jon Steinmeier

1. Ninjas - Written for Colby, Macey, and Chase Colvin

2. Robots - Written for Grace and Gabbie Steinmeier

3. Bacon - Written for Jad Mintun

4. Spinners - Written for Eric Singley


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Steinomite! Chicago, Illinois

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Track Name: Ninjas
Ninjitsu unleashed upon your shiatsu's leash
because i don't like the way it's eyeball'n my quiche!

sheesh, seriously, people and puppies beware
there are four American ninjas somewhere…

ninja's in America just don't even care

we’ve got serious beefs, with credit card companies
cable providers, anyone with hidden fees

threaten anybody that’s up to no good
by throw’n throwing stars into nearby wood!

I number my ninjas so that i can keep track
ninja 1, go chop that dudes sandwich in half

we cook, we clean, sing perfectly in tune
look out for ninjitsu in your kitchen soon!

helpful, modern, like the long arm of outreach
we volunteer to wreck people secretly

don’t even accept payment for the pain downpour
ninja 4, throw that dudes papers on the floor

once paid off a butler with cutlery we found
then proceeded to sautee our supper without a sound

super stealthy and wealthy with skills,
we kill in the kitchen, way ahead on our bills

professional at puzzles, riddles and rhymes,
we even make origami notes sometimes

ride horses, fix cars, use words like thrice
been known to time travel just to kill people twice

chill a drink by staring it down, no ice!
Nobody haggles better ways get the best price!

Community outreach, we make our own clothes
Brew our own beer, recycle and compost

consistently vote, totally vegan diets
we run a non-profit teaching people to be quiet

totally chill, never get excited.
If you need us and have a signal fire, light it

or just call this number...


We are ninja’s ninja’s ninja’s
Great at folding pastries in the night
We are ninja’s ninja’s ninja’s
Lace a sole like crazy ‘til it’s right

We are ninja’s ninja’s ninja’s
The tastiest oldies lazy with a knife
We are ninja’s ninja’s ninja’s
Chase, Colby, Macey, and Steinomite

Verse 2:

That’s right, we speak in code, and we bake
Pastries maybe, I guess you wouldn’t know
We may make bread, or pizza, maybe might
Deep fry, but could they be full of poison? Oh!

celebrities think we’re a cool club and wanna join
we once put Chuck Norris in a walker to prove a point

when we don’t have a mission we just all parkour
in the middle of the night with or without a fight

subtract numbers with or without a minus
they’d make us a reality show if they could find us

scuba dive with no gear
paralyze you with fear
drive cool cars
use our minds to stear

Put Jean-Claud Van Damme into a ham
And baked him for thanksgiving this year!

Just kidding, we always kid, ask chase…


We are ninja’s ninja’s ninja’s
Great at folding pastries in the night
We are ninja’s ninja’s ninja’s
Lace a sole like crazy ‘til it’s right

We are ninja’s ninja’s ninja’s
We are ninja’s ninja’s ninja’s
Chase, Colby, Macey, and Steinomite

We are ninja’s ninja’s ninja’s
Wait for boldy crazy night lights
We are ninja’s ninja’s ninja’s
Fate has told me Swayze had it right

We are ninja’s ninja’s ninja’s
Wasteful only lazy in the light
We are ninja’s ninja’s ninja’s
Chase, Colby, Macey, and Steinomite

Ninjas (ad libs)
Track Name: Robots
What do they want?
the robots in my house

i made them out of lego's
the robots in my house

maybe they can be ballerina's like my sister and i
maybe i can teach them how to fly...a kite

maybe i can teach them taekwondo, i don't know
maybe they will like my favorite shows...

maybe we can start a band, bang'n pots and pans
cook or read a book or...

we just wanna dance



they just wanna dance
the robots in my house

i made them out of legos
these robots in my house

maybe we can releve
into a plie
do si do
hammer time

we just wanna dance


they just wanna dance with us
Track Name: Bacon
kinda want some

bacon is delicious
you can put it on things
it's made from pork belly
you can put it on pork belly

full of umami, my mommy made it with eggs
like vitamins you should eat it on the regs'
put it on a burger, totally classic
Vlasic pickle and cheese,
but really it goes with everything

and so! ever just wanted to have it on you
just in case a craving comes before you meet
that blond dude for fondue...
no, I mean, literally have it on you
on your body...

CHORUS: (sung)
bacon suits are made outa bacon
tasty when you're on the go no fak'n

wear a hog tie if you wanna dress up right
wear bacon on your body tonight

that's right
They're totally awesome
But you can guess one must take some precautions
many people really really love a bit of snout
and it can be dangerous tryin' to wear your suit out

now it's not your fault if you're assaulted for the curing salted
bacon on your body, just beware
if you're get'n a long stare by a person
and they approach you maybe try a diversion

(diversion improv)

but the grisly-ness of your meat-suit has power
I was once chased around Chicago for an hour
in this case another method must be used
I call it lighting a cigarette and vomiting on yourself...


bacon suits are made outa bacon
no way
yes way
Track Name: Spinners
go to the gym
spinners on my weights

out to dinner put
spinners on my plates

out at the club
put a spinner on my date

american express card
spinners on my interest rates


next morn'n put'n
spinners on my eggs

girl you look'N good with
spinners on your legs

spinner pants
spinner hat
spinner watch
what you want?

spinner cat
spinner for dessert
spinner eyeball'n me
put'n a spinner on my shirt

i'm so spinny.
you never seen it this tight
mag wheels flashy like a mag light

like a star when i roll up
on a basketball and roll it
still rol'n with a spinner own it (on it)

spinner on my doorknob
spinner on my dvd
spinner on my younger brother
everything i see

spinn'n my rims
just spinn'n my rims
look'n so tight when i
spin 'em at the gym

i ride clean playa
look'n mean playa
spin my rims fast
like every daya

i'm all custom
straight dope style
ppl be like
that dude look'n wil' (wild)

that dude so fresh
com'n so clean
i put spinners on everyTHING

hm...ya'll got some unique whips
i got spinners on my finger tips

on my tv
on my toothbrush
on my landlady
on that schoolbus
on my pencil
on my elbow
i got spinners on the spinners on my pillows!

spinner sandwich
spinner bluetooth
spinner grandfather clock from the turn of the century

stop sign
toilet bowl
your phone

spinner kleenex
spinner toilet paper
spinner on a biscuit
on a business card
on a tree on a shoe on a desk
on a pen, these scissors
this cable piece of paper
lamp shade bar of soap
microwave radio
picture frame total stranger

spinners on spinners on spinners on...

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